That’s one of life’s most importantquestions.The way I answer reveals myidentity…who I believe I am.Most answerwith the Census Bureau approach… by occupation… “I’m a teacher.”by family status… “I’m married with twokids.” By race, “I’m African-American.” These answers provide information abouta person, but they don’t really answer the question.So, how should we respond?Well, we should at least know in our...
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We're conditioned to react negatively to the word "no." We don't like to hear it… and we don't like to say it. We thrive on saying "Yes" to ourselves—to our own wants and desires—to a new car, the latest gadget, an expensive vacation. So why are we surprised when our kids expect instant gratification. If we can't say "No" to ourselves, how will they learn to say "No" to themselves and realize the rewards of...
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That's a question children hear all the time. And we enjoy hearing their answers…a doctor, a teacher, a fireman, a ballerina. But what if the question was not about what they wanted to do for a living but who they wanted to be as a person? Less about career and more about character. Imagine your child answering, "I want to be a person of integrity…of wisdom…of courage and conviction. I want to be...
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The marriage rate has been on a steady decline over the past five decades. Why this disturbing trend? It's because some people think that living together rather than getting married is the way to go. The number of unmarried couples living with each other jumped from 1.6 million in 1980 to 13.6 million in 2008. Are there consequences for co-habitation? Well, findings from Pennsylvania State University indicate...
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Before you need it. Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better and solve problems in the relationship. So, why don't more people do it? Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private. They feel that is a stigma associated with seeking counseling. But there are times when a third party perspective is just what the doctor ordered. ...
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If you have, make up your mind that you will never use it again. The "D" word is divorce. It can come up when you're fighting, "I'm sick of you – I want a divorce!" Or when things aren't perfect, "If you do that again, I'm outta here!" Well, you need to replace a divorce mindset with a commitment mindset. You see, if divorce is even an option, you're more likely to consider it. And the threat of it keeps couples...
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Yesterday, I talked about knowing when you need counseling. Today I'd like to talk about how to choose a marriage counselor. After finally deciding to get help, many couples are overwhelmed with the sheer numbers of counseling options. Most couples begin by searching the internet. Another good choice is to ask a family doctor or trusted minister for suggestions. But the best referrals for marriage counselors come...
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