It happens all too often…wife sits down with husband and shares her thoughts, feelings and emotions. After a short time, husband starts to tune out, looks down at his phone and then his mind wanders to other things. But when we don’t listen to our wives, here are 4 things that often happen.  First, wives become distant.  A woman can’t help but feel rejected when the thoughts she shares with her husband aren’t...

The weather app on my phone gives me a forecast for the cities I travel to.  Recently, I began thinking how helpful it would be to have a marriage app…an app that would forecast what kind of weather to expect at home every day. Even though I haven’t invented such an app, I can share with you a daily checklist that will help avoid oncoming storms in your marriage.  First, check the forecast.  Look at the upcoming...

We’ve all seen it before.  We say something to our spouse and, immediately, we can see their face starting to turn red with rage. Well, if you realize you’ve offended your spouse, or have been misinterpreted, you can ask for a “do-over,” where you rephrase the statement so that it’s kinder and clearer. First, when you see your spouse bristling, stop the conversation immediately.  Second, ask for the do over with...

When you try to convey love to your spouse, does the message get through clearly, or is it lost in translation?  You see, we’re all different.  What I consider a loving gesture—a nice gift—might not mean anything to my wife… not because she’s unappreciative, but because there’s something else that makes her feel loved…like when I tell her I appreciate her sacrifices for our family.  Dr. Gary Chapman says there are...

My wife, Susan and I have been so happy to see friends who have had long-lasting marriages but have been saddened as well by marriages that seemed great but came to a shocking end. In a marriage failure, there are usually one or more marriage killers that are constantly present. For example, one marriage killer is comparison. One spouse might often say things like, “Why can’t you be more like her?” Or, “Why can’t...

You need to be accepted by your spouse, warts and all, just as you are. But not every change your spouse desires is an attack on you or your personality. So, instead of just ignoring them or bowing up to them, start by asking…  “On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being really, really important to you, how important is it to you that I change this action or behavior?” Then, focus on those 8’s, 9’s and 10’s…and put the...

Recently, my wife, Susan and I had one of those conflicts where we started talking about one thing, but ended up listing everything that we sometimes find irritating about each other.  All of it could have been avoided if we just remembered some important facts. First, we are equal opportunity agitators.  We both do things that annoy each other, and we need to step back and look at ourselves first. Second, it’s...