If you have, make up your mind that you will never use it again. The "D" word is divorce. It can come up when you're fighting, "I'm sick of you – I want a divorce!" Or when things aren't perfect, "If you do that again, I'm outta here!" Well, you need to replace a divorce mindset with a commitment mindset. You see, if divorce is even an option, you're more likely to consider it. And the threat of it keeps couples...

I was playing the simulated military game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my teenage son…and I'm really bad at it. The mission is to kill the bad guys or be killed. In real life, what do you do when someone takes aim at you and starts to fire? Fire back, right? Well, that's our instinct, but our call of duty is to receive the "friendly fire," and not pull the verbal trigger…even though everything in us...

It's not some high-tech gadget you can pick up at a store… it's a sense of belonging. So how can you instill that in your kids? At home, let your kids know they're important to you, and to your family. Affirm their positive character traits, encourage their unique gifts, and let them know their thoughts and opinions matter. Then, when you're out in public, praise them to others – and proudly claim them: "This is...

Last night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, my son tried to push me aside, without saying a word. Well, rather than just correct him, my wife and I decided to employ a little role-play. As I stood at the sink again, she played the role of my son and said, "Dad, will you please excuse me? I'd like to wash my hands." I said, "Sure, come on in." and then moved out of the way. You see, telling our kids how to do...

Yesterday, I talked about knowing when you need counseling. Today I'd like to talk about how to choose a marriage counselor. After finally deciding to get help, many couples are overwhelmed with the sheer numbers of counseling options. Most couples begin by searching the internet. Another good choice is to ask a family doctor or trusted minister for suggestions. But the best referrals for marriage counselors come...

We're conditioned to react negatively to the word "no." We don't like to hear it… and we don't like to say it. We thrive on saying "Yes" to ourselves—to our own wants and desires—to a new car, the latest gadget, an expensive vacation. So why are we surprised when our kids expect instant gratification. If we can't say "No" to ourselves, how will they learn to say "No" to themselves and realize the rewards of...

You feel like it's flat lined. There's no pulse—not a breath of life remains. Before you pronounce it dead on arrival, there are four basic tools you can use to resurrect that dying relationship. First, patience. It took time for your relationship to need resuscitation; it will take time for it to get well again. Second, determination. Choose to be committed to each other for life, no matter what, and work...