A University of North Carolina study found that children of workaholics have the same levels of anxiety and depression as children of alcoholics. Scary, isn't it? So how do you know if you're working too much? Well, are you more excited about going to work than spending time with your family? Do you take work home with you? Do you work on weekends. . . and even on vacation? Does your work preoccupy your thoughts?...
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A good listener? Hardly. But maybe a good lecturer. So what does it mean to be a good listener? Well, I'll give you a couple of hints… its more than the absence of talking… and it doesn't involve multitasking when your child is speaking to you. Listening is the active process of hearing what our child is saying, looking at their eyes and body language for clues, processing it all to determine what's really going...
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I was playing the simulated military game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my teenage son…and I'm really bad at it. The mission is to kill the bad guys or be killed. In real life, what do you do when someone takes aim at you and starts to fire? Fire back, right? Well, that's our instinct, but our call of duty is to receive the "friendly fire," and not pull the verbal trigger…even though everything in us...
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It's not some high-tech gadget you can pick up at a store… it's a sense of belonging. So how can you instill that in your kids? At home, let your kids know they're important to you, and to your family. Affirm their positive character traits, encourage their unique gifts, and let them know their thoughts and opinions matter. Then, when you're out in public, praise them to others – and proudly claim them: "This is...
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Last night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, my son tried to push me aside, without saying a word. Well, rather than just correct him, my wife and I decided to employ a little role-play. As I stood at the sink again, she played the role of my son and said, "Dad, will you please excuse me? I'd like to wash my hands." I said, "Sure, come on in." and then moved out of the way. You see, telling our kids how to do...
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Laugh together. It's no joke. Laughter not only makes us feel good, but according to research cited in the Canadian Family Physician journal, it releases chemicals associated with bonding. A hearty belly laugh increases oxygen in your blood stream and gives your heart a work out. That releases even more feel-good endorphins. Humor helps us cope with stress; it relieves tension and creates a feeling of intimacy,...
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We're conditioned to react negatively to the word "no." We don't like to hear it… and we don't like to say it. We thrive on saying "Yes" to ourselves—to our own wants and desires—to a new car, the latest gadget, an expensive vacation. So why are we surprised when our kids expect instant gratification. If we can't say "No" to ourselves, how will they learn to say "No" to themselves and realize the rewards of...
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