That’s one of life’s most importantquestions.The way I answer reveals myidentity…who I believe I am.Most answerwith the Census Bureau approach… by occupation… “I’m a teacher.”by family status… “I’m married with twokids.” By race, “I’m African-American.” These answers provide information abouta person, but they don’t really answer the question.So, how should we respond?Well, we should at least know in our...
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From athletes on steroids to physically abusive rap stars, red-handed corporate executives to red-faced politicians, we have heard apologies galore lately. But does simply saying, "I'm sorry" to your child mean you've taken responsibility for your mistakes? No. Sometimes it just means you're sorry you got caught. There's more to saying sorry to your child than that. A true apology comes with acknowledging what...
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OK…you're at a ball field and you notice a mom and daughter arriving for a game. For 10 minutes, Mom talks enthusiastically. She laughs, she jokes … but it's not with her daughter…it's with her friend…on the phone! Mom never makes eye contact with her daughter, never talks with her or encourages her before the big game. Sound familiar? If so, take advantage of the time that you have with your kids. You never...
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I was playing the simulated military game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my teenage son…and I'm really bad at it. The mission is to kill the bad guys or be killed. In real life, what do you do when someone takes aim at you and starts to fire? Fire back, right? Well, that's our instinct, but our call of duty is to receive the "friendly fire," and not pull the verbal trigger…even though everything in us...
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It's not some high-tech gadget you can pick up at a store… it's a sense of belonging. So how can you instill that in your kids? At home, let your kids know they're important to you, and to your family. Affirm their positive character traits, encourage their unique gifts, and let them know their thoughts and opinions matter. Then, when you're out in public, praise them to others – and proudly claim them: "This is...
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Last night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, my son tried to push me aside, without saying a word. Well, rather than just correct him, my wife and I decided to employ a little role-play. As I stood at the sink again, she played the role of my son and said, "Dad, will you please excuse me? I'd like to wash my hands." I said, "Sure, come on in." and then moved out of the way. You see, telling our kids how to do...
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We're conditioned to react negatively to the word "no." We don't like to hear it… and we don't like to say it. We thrive on saying "Yes" to ourselves—to our own wants and desires—to a new car, the latest gadget, an expensive vacation. So why are we surprised when our kids expect instant gratification. If we can't say "No" to ourselves, how will they learn to say "No" to themselves and realize the rewards of...
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