Recently, I said something to my wife that I thought was harmless…I don’t even remember what it was. I was surprised when she didn’t respond favorably. I asked her what I said wrong. She said “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.” She couldn’t have been more correct. How we say things are so important. When communicating with your spouse, remember your tone. Is it soft or harsh? Second, remember your...
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When our expectations for our spouse become unreasonable, we are really setting our marriages up to falter and maybe even fail. Here are some unfair expectations wives should avoid. First, that he will always “Get You.” My wife, Susan, sometimes says…“You just don’t get me.” And she’s right. As a man, I don’t think like Susan and don’t always understand how she’s feeling even when I try. The second unfair...
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Every couple experiences rough patches, but not every couple reacts the same. Some give up, while others work to survive. So if you and your spouse are ready to move from a season of difficulty to a season of joy, here are 5 game-changers to have a great marriage. First, stop comparing your marriage to an unrealistic standard. Understand that no matter how happy other couples seem on the surface, there’s no...
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Conflict tends to bring out the worst in people. They can all too easily become aggressive, insulting, and hurting—leaving wounds on their family members for a long time to come. So how can you fight fair? Here are a few ways for your family to fight fair. First, know when to take a break. When things start escalating, sometimes it’s best to take a short break and walk away from the situation to calm down. ...
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It amazes me how much I’m still learning each day. Just when I think I’ve made some great progress, I mess up and realize I’m still far from being the kind of husband I want to be. But after 25 years of marriage to my wife Susan, I’ve discovered a thing or two about how to communicate well. So here’s what I’ve learned about communicating with my wife. First, communicate gently. Because I’m a “recovering”...
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We’ve heard more than once that men crave respect—especially from their wives. But I think it’s important that we define what sort of respect men are looking for. So women, here are some respect needs of men. First, respect his judgment. Men crave to know that their wife deeply respects the things that make up his judgment: his knowledge, his opinions, and his decisions. Second, respect his abilities. This...
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Somehow a small disagreement turned into a major dispute. You and your spouse continued to fight until it got out of control. Now you’re left standing alone in the kitchen, knowing she’s upstairs in the bedroom with a hurting heart. Our first instinct is to stand our ground and “win” the argument. But, when you do that, nobody really wins. So, what should you do? Hold your spouse higher than your pride. Don’t...
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