My wife, Susan, and I have different styles of communication. So, to help us, we use what’s called the speaker/listener technique. Here’s how the speaker/listener technique works. The speaker holds a pen or some other object to show they have the floor. The speaker then makes a short statement or point. After the speaker makes their first point, the listener repeats it back or paraphrases what they heard so that...

In a letter… that’s right… a letter.  When you write something out, you usually give it more thought, and are more careful with the words you put on paper.  Your spouse will probably receive it better as well, since they can read it over and then think about it privately… and you won’t be there to argue with!  So when I want to address a sensitive subject with my wife… something she said that might have offended...

Superman’s virtually indestructible, but he can be brought to his knees by a tiny piece of rock.  Kryptonite drains him of his powers and makes him vulnerable.  Prolonged exposure will even kill him. Well, what about us mere mortals?  In marriage, we can often see the big things coming.  But the small things… criticism, indifference, keeping score… these little radioactive stones can creep up on us and slowly zap...

My wife, Susan, and I just celebrated 24 years of marriage.  After more than two decades together, you’d think we’d always have smooth sailing… but we don’t.  We both work really hard to have a great marriage.  So, why can’t we get it all together?  It’s our selfish nature… we want things from each other that we don’t always get.  She wants me to cherish, affirm and encourage her. I want her physical affection....

As you're listening to your wife explain a situation or problem, here are a couple of questions to ask yourself: "How does she feel as she’s telling me this?" and "Why is this important to her?" One of the biggest challenges in marital communication is not understanding the emotion and motive behind the message. So, the next time you're not quite following your wife's train of thought, instead of pushing her to...

It's no mystery…many women enjoy shopping as an “experience.”  On the other hand, most men shop with the "hunter" mentality…get what you need, as quickly as you can, and get back to your cave.  With these two polar opposite mindsets, shopping together can be frustrating…if you let it.  So, what’s the solution?  Look at shopping with your wife as a date…a way to spend time with her.  When you’re shopping with her,...

You can’t see where you are going; you’ve lost your vision. Maybe you’ve lost your vision for your marriage. The road you were heading down with your spouse was suddenly engulfed by an affair, illness, cancer, or an addiction.  You once could see a bright future for your child, but the light has dimmed because of rebellion, drugs, or sickness.   So, what can you do?  First, pull over. Stop what you are doing for a...