In his book, The Sacred Search, Author Gary Thomas shares how to teach your children to choose a spouse who they love and also respect. He emphasizes choosing someone with common values and common vision—someone they truly enjoy spending time with. Gary shares that the reward for making a wise marital choice is so tremendous that he doesn’t want you to miss it. The consequences for making a foolish choice can be...

Marriages are messy because people are messy. Each one of us is unique…we have unique minds and personalities. We have different ways of processing and seeing things. But a messy marriage can be a meaningful marriage. Communication is one of the messiest parts of marriage. For example, when you constantly have the same old marriage fights…things can get out of hand. To make that mess beautiful, it’s important to...

Because you and your spouse are two imperfect people, your marriage will be imperfect as well.  In my marriage, Susan and I aren’t always on the same page with what we need from each other.  As a result, we’ve both sometimes have had that feeling like, “I can’t do anything right.”  Instead of getting frustrated, here are 3 steps to take when you feel that way.  First, be sure you and your spouse define what is...

Emotions are so powerful that at times they seem to overwhelm us. Emotions like jealousy, anger, fear, worry, and grief can put us on a reactionary path. But you don’t have to be controlled by your emotions. These tips may help. First, be the boss of your thoughts. Emotions certainly affect your thoughts, but your thoughts can also guide your emotions. Try to look at an emotional decision or situation with someone...

Let’s face it: we all make mistakes. And more often than not, the recipient of those mistakes is our spouse.  But small failures in a marriage don’t mean it’s time to give up.  Instead, it’s an opportunity to be honest with ourselves about the areas we struggle in so that we can learn.  So here are some common marriage mistakes and how to overcome them.  First, we often take our spouse for granted.  Instead, it’s...

It’s easy to instruct your mate on how they can be a better husband or wife.  But maybe it’s time to look at yourself.  Maybe it’s time for you to be the best you can be.  How? First, accept your spouse for who they are. Love them unconditionally. Accept their wonderful qualities…and their flaws. Second, applaud your spouse.  When you see your spouse doing something good, encourage them with your words. Third,...

Today I realized that I’ve been writing and speaking about how to have a great marriage, but I haven’t been putting all of it into practice.  Why? Well, a house flood, new book, financial pressures, family health challenges, and busyness have all played a role in keeping me from focusing on my marriage. But there’s no excuse. So, what am I doing about it? First, I’m re-reading some of my own blog posts on marriage...