Everyone needs affirmation, encouragement, and compliments…your children do too. And the best person to give them that boost they need is YOU: their parent. So to help get you started, here are some compliments your kids need to hear.  First, compliment their character.  When your child demonstrates honesty, integrity, or kindness, take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.  Second, compliment their...

In the wild, prodding a porcupine with a stick or by yelling doesn’t work very well…it just makes the porcupine more angry. You risk being on the receiving end of some sharp, painful quills. It’s the same way in our relationships. If you prod a porcupine spouse, teen, or in-law, with your words, things usually don’t go to well. Saying things like “What’s your problem?” just makes them even more mad.  There are...

As parents, we want to do everything we can do for our kids, but that’s not always best. It’s important to teach our kids to do things for themselves.  So here are some ways to teach your children self-discipline.  First, teach structured routine. Organized and consistent structure breeds discipline. For example, by setting a designated time for homework to be completed each day, the routine will become a natural...

You may have said, “If there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.”  But, how often will someone who needs help actually “let you know” they need it?  It’s EASY to offer help.  But it’s BETTER to actually help.  Here are some ways you can do just that:  First, tell them “We have some groceries (or home-cooked food) we’d like to bring over…when would be a good time?”  Making extra of your next meal or...

Porcupines have trigger points that cause the sharp quills on its back to raise up. When it’s threatened or irritated, it can get really mean and shoot those quills into someone or something and cause a lot of pain. Well, I’ve got certain trigger points that cause me to get cranky and prickly. One of mine is unmet expectations. When I have crazy high expectations for others, and those expectations are not met, I...

There are some short sentences that every child needs to hear, on a regular basis, from their dad.  These sentences can make or break their sense of identity, belonging, security and value. For example, tell your child “I'm here for you.” Being available to your child is incredibly important. And it’s more than just permission to come to you when times are tough…it’s an invitation with a welcome mat.  It tells...

When it comes to relationships, communication can be emotional.  So it needs to be handled carefully. There are some basic truths that Susan and I try to keep in mind when we’re trying to sort through relational issues.  First, remember that we’re all made for relationships.  Maybe this is obvious, but we sometimes forget that life is not just all about “me.”  When we get stuck on ourselves, we lose perspective on...