An elephant never forgets.  When they are too small to escape, we train elephants in captivity by shackling their ankles and staking them down.  They try to tug away from their bonds, but eventually learn they can't get loose. That’s when their “elephant memory” takes over.  For the rest of their lives, they remember they can't get away.  Likewise, when someone makes a careless comment to a child, like, “You’re...

It’s not some high-tech gadget you can pick up at a store… it’s a sense of belonging. So how can you instill that in your kids? At home, let your kids know they’re important to you, and to your family. Affirm their positive character traits, encourage their unique gifts, and let them know their thoughts and opinions matter. Then, when you’re out in public, praise them to others – and proudly claim them: “This is...

A lot of parents have a hard time telling the difference.  And that’s a problem.  You’ve seen it…a mom dressed like her teenage daughter.  A dad who offers his teenage son a beer while they watch the game.  When mom or dad becomes a buddy, the child loses out on the most important relationship…that of parent and child.  Your kids have plenty of friends, what they need from you is guidance, love, and boundaries....

We all have challenges and battles in life and in marriage. The new movie War Room reminds us that we do have weapons to fight that battle well.  First, we must engage with humility. We must realize that we’re not always right and that we must listen to our spouses and look out for their best interests. Second, we must sacrifice. Sometimes we have to lay down our wants and reinforce our spouses even when we don’t...

If your mom nagged you about the importance of good posture, she knew what she was talking about.  Good physical posture can have positive effects. The same thing is true in relationships. Good relational posture is also important.  For healthier relationships, start with a posture of humility. Humility acknowledges that you need other people—and not just to do what you want them to. Humility recognizes other...

Many of us expect our spouse to “just know” what we are thinking or feeling.  After years with each other, we begin to expect our spouse to know we’ve had a bad day, that we’re tired, or that we want affection.  They “should just know,” right?  Well, that’s not realistic!  Years of experience make it easier to predict your spouse’s response, but it’s no substitute for communication.  If you want your spouse to...

Every parent wonders, sooner or later, if the values they are teaching their kids will actually stick with them. Personal experience and visits with hundreds of parents have convinced me that planting certain seeds in your child’s life will strengthen your positive influence on them.  Here are a few of those seeds. First, focus on making memories that will last. Camping, fishing, hiking, biking, family...