Susan recently shared how she felt some bitterness in our marriage. She explained how I sometimes tell her to stop using unkind words toward me, and then I turn around and do the same thing a few minutes later. She gets frustrated. And that frustration, when not dealt with, leads to unresolved anger and then bitterness. I asked for forgiveness and worked to change my errant ways. Here are 4 things a spouse can...
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We all know what it’s like to have someone sitting right next to us, but whose mind is miles and miles away. In marriage, this can play out when our spouse is physically beside us, but is emotionally distant. To reconnect, here are 3 steps to take when your spouse is close, but distant. First, recognize it. Avoid being so focused on your own issues and “to-do” list that you’re unable to see when your spouse is...
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When married couples are exposed to the heavy, pounding winds of life—sickness, losing a job, affairs, addictions—weaknesses in their relationship are exposed. But struggles don’t always have to rip apart a marriage. Here are 7 steps to survive a marriage crisis. First, take turns being strong. In the midst of a crisis, emotions are sure to run high. Finding a way to tag-team allows one of you to be weak,...
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Once you got married, you thought you’d never feel lonely again. You had high hopes that your spouse would be the lifelong companion who saved you from loneliness. But over time, you unintentionally disconnected from one another. Now that loneliness has crept in. How do you deal with it? Here are 3 ways to reconnect. First, forgive past hurts. This means knocking down the walls of bitterness between you and...
Before you say "I do," you need to make sure you know your potential mate well. You can probably learn a great deal about them just by noting how they live their life. But whether it's by observing or by discussing, you want to make sure you have a clear picture of their character, their lifestyle and their expectations. Here are some questions to get you started. The answers can help you determine in what areas...
The best time for marriage counseling is before you need it. Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better, and solve problems in the relationship. So why don’t more people do it? Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private. They feel there is a stigma associated with seeking counseling. But there are times when a third party...
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From cheaters and domestic violence to red-handed corporate executives and red-faced politicians, we hear apologies galore. But does simply saying, “I’m sorry” mean they’ve taken responsibility for their mistakes? No. Sometimes it just means they are sorry they got caught. There are four steps toward a true apology. First, acknowledge what you have done wrong. Second, grieve that wrong. Third, ask for...
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