Well, for a flame to exist, you have to have fuel.  You know those old pictures you have tucked away… the love letters you’ve saved… the texts you exchange… the seemingly harmless flirtations on Facebook.  These are the fuel that—given a spark—might just become a raging inferno.  So, the first step to extinguish an old flame is to get rid of the fuel source.  Throw out the reminders, get rid of the pictures of...

Susan recently shared how she felt some bitterness in our marriage.  She explained how I sometimes tell her to stop using unkind words toward me, and then I turn around and do the same thing a few minutes later. She gets frustrated.  And that frustration, when not dealt with, leads to unresolved anger and then bitterness.  I asked for forgiveness and worked to change my errant ways. Here are 4 things a spouse can...

In his book, Uncommon Marriage, Tony Dungy shares why couples often fight harder for their own pride than for the good of their marriage.  He says “it goes against our human nature” to apologize when we think we’re right and our spouse is wrong.  It may not be easy to take the high road, but here are 3 steps to fight for your marriage rather than your pride.  First, identify what the conflict is really about. ...

When married couples are exposed to the heavy, pounding winds of life—sickness, losing a job, affairs, addictions—weaknesses in their relationship are exposed.  But struggles don’t always have to rip apart a marriage.  Here are 7 steps to survive a marriage crisis.  First, take turns being strong.  In the midst of a crisis, emotions are sure to run high.  Finding a way to tag-team allows one of you to be weak,...

  Once you got married, you thought you’d never feel lonely again. You had high hopes that your spouse would be the lifelong companion who saved you from loneliness.  But over time, you unintentionally disconnected from one another. Now that loneliness has crept in. How do you deal with it? Here are 3 ways to reconnect.  First, forgive past hurts.  This means knocking down the walls of bitterness between you and...

Before you say "I do," you need to make sure you know your potential mate well. You can probably learn a great deal about them just by noting how they live their life. But whether it's by observing or by discussing, you want to make sure you have a clear picture of their character, their lifestyle and their expectations. Here are some questions to get you started. The answers can help you determine in what areas...

The best time for marriage counseling is before you need it.  Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better, and solve problems in the relationship.  So why don’t more people do it?  Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private.  They feel there is a stigma associated with seeking counseling.  But there are times when a third party...