I call it the 3 R's of discipline—remove, reflect and reconnect. First remove. When your child misbehaves, immediately remove him from the situation and send him to his room. When you feel like your child has a calm spirit, move onto the next "R," Reflect. When you and your child reflect, you discuss what happened. Ask your child three questions: "What did you do wrong?" "Why was it wrong?" And "What are you going...
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The more the parent understands the teen, the more the teen will connect with the parent. One of the best ways to understand our children is to listen to them and to empathize with them. In those sometimes rare occasions when they open up, seize the moment. Really hear what they have to say by giving them your undivided attention and by paraphrasing back to them what they said. Identify with them in their...
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Your daughter says "I hate you. You're the worst mom in the world," or she lets a few choice words fly at your husband. Blatant disrespect. What do you do? How do you get your child to respect you? Well, you can just ignore it and let your spouse and child work it out—but what kind of message does that send to your child? They need to see a unified mom and dad, parents who support each other with words and...
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MajorLeague Baseball manager Tommy Lasorda once confessed that, as a relief pitcher,he was so anxious he would sometimes deliberately try to balk. Problem was, theumpires wouldn't call it and he was forced to face his fears. Several decadeslater when Lasorda was managing Orel Hershiser, he told Orel, "Tomorrowwhen Dale Murphy comes to bat and sees the name Orel, he's going to laugh atyou and then pound you deep....
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When your daughter forgets her lunch for the third day in a row, do you run it to school? When your teenager drives like a maniac, then wrecks the car, do you pay for the repairs? When they say their homework is "too hard" do you do it for them? Many loving parents with good intentions, me included, intervene between irresponsible behavior and its consequences. But, overprotection can develop lasting dependency...
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The dictionary defines courage as the ability to face difficulty, danger, or pain without fear. I think courage is the ability to look difficulty, danger, and pain square in the face and do what needs to be done, even though you are afraid. And your children learn how to be courageous by watching you. They learn courage when they see you step out of your comfort zone. They practice courage when you challenge them...
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Coach Dungy can help you answer that question. In his best-selling book, The Mentor Leader, Coach Tony Dungy says, "…Mentor leaders have a direct, intentional, and positive impact on the people they lead by showing them how to succeed by example and through step-by-step teaching." Ultimately, being a mentor is about being a positive influence in your relationships. The key to becoming a mentor leader is learning...
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