I have 5 children, ages 18 to 23. Here are 23 things I’ve learned in those 23 years. First, I must consistently impress upon my kids that they are immeasurably valuable for who they are, not for what they do. Their value lies in their person, not in their performance. Second, my children must know that I love them unconditionally—no matter what. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate them from my love. Third, I...

A privilege is something that you earn and can be revoked at any time. An entitlement is a right that can’t be taken away.  For example, your teen says they have the right to a car, a cell phone, Facebook, or a date. How should you respond?  Tell them those are privileges they earn, not entitlements they automatically have.  Just because they’re 16 doesn’t mean they automatically get to drive.  Maturity and trust...

Many parents mean well; but, sometimes unintentionally discourage their kids.  How? First, they offer too much help.  As a result, their child may think their parent doubts their ability.  So, when your child learns to ride a bike, show them how, hand them a helmet and let them go.  It’s okay if they fall once or twice.  Second, parents compare their kids to others.  Comparison can break a child spirit.  There...

Before he was THE Mozart, Wolfgang was just a normal kid.  He had good days and bad days, he played jokes on his friends and he got into trouble.  What set him apart was the encouragement he got from a father who recognized his talents.  But what if his dad hadn’t been listening?  The world may have missed out on one of the greatest musical geniuses. Now, think of your own child whose hidden talents are just...

I know there are times when I’ve said things I wish I hadn’t. This can be especially true for a parent who, in stressful times, tells his kids to “shut up” or a spouse who says harsh things to his mate – things he later regrets. You can’t rewind and erase your words, so choose your words wisely. Here’s how. First, in a heated moment, remember that silence is golden. You will never regret a harsh word you never...

Most kids generally understand that when you get your paycheck, you deposit it into a bank, and then the bank pays you a little something called interest for keeping your money there. In the same way, explain to your children that each time they tell the truth, a deposit is made in your “trust account.” When a lie is told, that account is depleted.  The more deposits that are made, the more you trust them and...

Does it seem like your kids turn to your wife more than they turn to you?  If they do, take a look at how you’re parenting.  Are you a listener, or a lecturer?  Do you praise your kids or put them down?  Do you show them patience or lose your temper?  Are you fun to be around or always edgy?  Do you spend time with them, or fill your schedule with other things?  Now, even though kids naturally turn more to mom...