I was playing the simulated military game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my teenage son… and I’m really bad at it.  The mission is to kill the bad guys or be killed.  In real life, what do you do when someone takes aim at you and starts to fire?  Fire back, right?  Well, that’s our instinct, but our call of duty is to receive the “friendly fire,” and not pull the verbal trigger… even though everything in us...

Playing favorites with your children is a dangerous game. Preferring one child over another can destroy family unity… and cause lasting emotional damage for the “unfavored” child.  Maybe one daughter is prettier than her awkward sister; one son excels at academics or sports, while his brother struggles with grades, is more withdrawn, just plain ‘difficult’. It may feel natural to lavish attention on an exceptional...

Experts say that those key parenting times are when your child leaves for school, gets home from school, and when they go to bed. It might seem like a minor thing to be there in those moments, but research shows that boys in grades seven through twelve whose fathers were home during those times were less likely to be sexually active.  And the same was true for girls whose mothers sent them off to school, greeted...

We’re conditioned to react negatively to the word “no.” We don’t like to hear it… and we don’t like to say it. We thrive on saying “Yes” to ourselves—to our own wants and desires—to a new car, the latest gadget, an expensive vacation.  So why are we surprised when our kids expect instant gratification? If we can’t say “No” to ourselves, how will they learn to say “No” to themselves and realize the rewards of...

Talking to your kids about sex is probably as uncomfortable for you as it is for them.  But if you think it’s ok to avoid that discussion—think again. The January 2011 issue of Seventeen Magazine interviewed teens for a national survey on sex, and the findings are disturbing.  Teens are increasingly putting themselves at great physical and emotional risk by having pre-marital sex.  And sadly, almost a fourth say...

A good listener?  Hardly.  But maybe a good lecturer.  So what does it mean to parent as a good listener?  Well, I’ll give you a couple of hints… its more than the absence of talking… and it doesn’t involve multitasking when your child is speaking to you.   Listening is the active process of hearing what our child is saying, looking at their eyes and body language for clues, processing it all to determine what’s...

It’s not some high-tech gadget you can pick up at a store… it’s a sense of belonging. So how can you instill that in your kids? At home, let your kids know they’re important to you, and to your family. Affirm their positive character traits, encourage their unique gifts, and let them know their thoughts and opinions matter. Then, when you’re out in public, praise them to others – and proudly claim them: “This is...