An elephant never forgets.  When they are too small to escape, we train elephants in captivity by shackling their ankles and staking them down. They try and try to tug away from their bonds; but they eventually learn they can't get loose. That’s when their “elephant memory” takes over.  For the rest of their lives they remember that they can't get away.  In the same way, when someone makes a careless or insensitive comment to a child, like, “You’re not big enough to make the football team,” or “You aren’t smart enough to get into that school,” they drive a mental stake into the child’s mind that they will never forget…which could hold them back for the rest of their lives.  To help you get started, here’s the right and wrong way to praise your kids.  While you’re at it, take the time to write a thank you note to your kids with our new printable thank you notes for kids.