For many couples, conflict occurs because they remember things differently. Sometimes the actual details are clear-cut, and a cool review and discussion will sort things out. But often it's just that men and women simply remember things differently because their brains are wired differently. It's why men are often single-minded and women can more easily multitask. When dealing with an important issue you each...
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In every marriage, conflict happens. HOW a couple argues is actually more important than IF a couple argues. Here are several ways you might not be fighting fair. First, if you bring up the past, even when it was supposedly forgiven. If something is forgiven, let it go. It shouldn’t be used as ammunition. Second, bringing the kids into your conflict is a low blow. Leave them out of it. Third, don’t sucker punch...
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A conflict-free marriage is not reality. But you can learn to resolve conflict well. So here are 3 ways to put conflict to R-E-S-T in your marriage. The R in R-E-S-T stands for Review…review the problem. Pinpoint the exact issue of the conflict and get on the same page. The E stands for Evaluate…evaluate options. Have a brainstorm session with your spouse—discussing different ideas, solutions, and compromises. S...
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Everyone needs to know they’re appreciated, especially in marriage. A great compliment can make your spouse’s week. For the next few days, use one of these types of compliments on your spouse. First, compliment their people skills…how they treat others. Notice when they show uncommon kindness, generosity, chivalry or patience. Say, “I really admire how kind you were to the people in that crazy, crowded store!”...
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If you want to evaluate your marriage, the best way is to talk to the one person that knows your marriage as well, or better than, you do…your spouse. So here are 2 questions you can ask your spouse to assess your relationship. First ask, “How can I be better spouse to you?” Ask for practical examples. Second, ask, “Have I seemed oblivious to anything important going on in the family?” If you have missed...
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Let’s face it: All couples fight. And whether it’s a small disagreement or a huge argument, it’s important that you and your spouse learn to work things out together. So here are 3 ways to fight conflict in your marriage. First, accept that there will be conflict in your marriage. The sooner you accept that conflict is unavoidable, the sooner you can look for solutions. Second, avoid conflict as much as possible....
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Too much peace and harmony in your marriage? If so, here are a few things you can do to start a fight with your spouse. First, change plans at the last minute. Don’t consult with your spouse and just do what’s best for you. Second, have a serious conversation right before bed when you both are tired from a long day. That can easily lead to an argument. Third, compare your spouse to others. Say something...
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