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5 "Do-Over" Rules in Marriage

We’ve all seen it before.  We say something to our spouse and, immediately, we can see their face starting to turn red with rage. Well, if you realize you’ve offended your spouse, or have been misinterpreted, you can ask for a “do-over,” where you rephrase the statement so that it’s kinder and clearer. First, when you see your spouse bristling, stop the conversation immediately.  Second, ask for the do over with...
Jan 18, 2019 / Communication

Are You Speaking Your Spouse's Language?

Guys, have you ever bought your wife a nice gift and wondered why she did not jump for joy?  Wives, have you ever given your husband a compliment only to have it fall on deaf ears?  Author Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that there are five love languages, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.  And, everyone has a language that makes them feel the most loved.  So, take...
Jan 09, 2019 / Communication

9 C's That Can Kill a Marriage

My wife, Susan and I have been so happy to see friends who have had long-lasting marriages but have been saddened as well by marriages that seemed great but came to a shocking end. In a marriage failure, there are usually one or more marriage killers that are constantly present. For example, one marriage killer is comparison. One spouse might often say things like, “Why can’t you be more like her?” Or, “Why can’t...
Oct 17, 2018 / Communication

When My Spouse Wants Me to Change

You need to be accepted by your spouse, warts and all, just as you are. But not every change your spouse desires is an attack on you or your personality. So, instead of just ignoring them or bowing up to them, start by asking…  “On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being really, really important to you, how important is it to you that I change this action or behavior?” Then, focus on those 8’s, 9’s and 10’s…and put the...
Oct 04, 2018 / Communication

Choosing Your Words Carefully

Words are powerful. Words can build up. Words can tear down.  It’s so important to be careful what you say, especially in marriage.  There are four toxins of the tongue that can cause great marital harm.  First, sarcastic words.  Sarcastic comments like, “Hey, the laundry doesn’t clean itself” cause discord and can corrupt what was once a happy relationship. Second, unsupportive words.  Your spouse shares with you...
May 03, 2018 / Communication

What are the Five Love Languages?

When you try to convey love to your spouse, does the message get through clearly, or is it lost in translation?  You see, we’re all different.  What I consider a loving gesture—a nice gift—might not mean anything to my wife… not because she’s unappreciative, but because there’s something else that makes her feel loved…like when I tell her I appreciate her sacrifices for our family.  Dr. Gary Chapman says there are...
Jan 09, 2018 / Communication

Assertive Communication: How to Have Healthy Conversations with Your Spouse

We all have different ways of communicating that reflect our personalities. But healthy communication exists best when spouses are both developing the skill of assertive communication. An assertive spouse develops a clear understanding of what their spouse feels, thinks and wants. They work on dealing directly, honestly, and, most importantly, respectfully with their spouse. For example, during a financial...
Sep 24, 2015 / Communication

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The Family Minute is a daily radio feature that offers everyday advice on marriage, parenting, and family relationships.

Mark Merrill

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