Yesterday, I talked about knowing when you need counseling. Today I'd like to talk about how to choose a marriage counselor. After finally deciding to get help, many couples are overwhelmed with the sheer numbers of counseling options. Most couples begin by searching the internet. Another good choice is to ask a family doctor or trusted minister for suggestions. But the best referrals for marriage counselors come...
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If you have, make up your mind that you will never use it again. The "D" word is divorce. It can come up when you're fighting, "I'm sick of you – I want a divorce!" Or when things aren't perfect, "If you do that again, I'm outta here!" Well, you need to replace a divorce mindset with a commitment mindset. You see, if divorce is even an option, you're more likely to consider it. And the threat of it keeps couples...
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Before you need it. Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better and solve problems in the relationship. So, why don't more people do it? Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private. They feel that is a stigma associated with seeking counseling. But there are times when a third party perspective is just what the doctor ordered. ...
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Every family has those moments. You know the ones…the grownups who just can't seem to get along when the family gets together for the holidays. Well, why not take a page from history? For many years, the Presidential family has been given a turkey for their family meal. The bird is intended to be roasted, fried, baked or fricasseed, but instead of getting what he deserves, the President pardons the poultry. ...
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Soon after my wife and I were married, we made a discovery. It seemed like when we argued, it was at night… when we were tired and irritable from a long day. So we set a curfew on serious discussions: nine o'clock is the limit. Now, when we start to get into a heavy talk after nine, we remind each other that it's late, we're not going to resolve anything tonight, and we can talk about it tomorrow. The next...
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Most of the time, married couples should be in agreement. Especially when it comes to big things like your relationship, your family, your beliefs. But when a minor issue has the potential to become a major problem, then it's better to keep the peace than to be right. For example, if my wife and I are buying a couch and she picks one that I don't really like, I can dig my heels in and fight, or we can try to...
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The list of "I wants" can go on and on. For kids it's, "I want that video game." "I want that scooter." For us, it's, "I want that car." "I want that couch." No matter what we have, there's always more. Henry David Thoreau said, "We make ourselves rich by making our wants few." Most of us already have what we need… it's just a matter of controlling what we want. So, the next time someone in your family wants to...
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