Some beasts that tear apart marriages come from the outside. But, more often than not, the beasts that kill a marriage come from within the relationship. I call them “marriage killers.” To help you battle these enemies in your marriage, it’s important to recognize what they are and then learn how to slay them. The first marriage killer is comparison. Comparing your marriage to another couple’s marriage only...
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Sometimes, when we least expect it, life hits us with a speed bump—telling us that we need to slow down. And while these natural speed bumps can be tough, they’re great opportunities for us to slow down and support our spouse. So what are some natural speed bumps you may face in marriage? First, there’s the speed bump of losing a job. It’s important to use this time to support your spouse—showing them that your...
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Unfaithfulness in marriage has severe consequences. In the blink of an eye, all trust and security can be lost. So instead of just hoping it doesn’t happen to you, take these precautions to protect your marriage. First, create practical boundaries. This means drawing a line for what appropriate interactions with the opposite sex look like and then staying a safe distance behind that line. Second, find someone who...
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So you’re getting into a small disagreements with your spouse…no big deal, so you just shake it off…hoping that they’ll go away. But maybe those little spats are simply signs of bigger issues. So what are some signs that your marriage is becoming unhealthy? The first sign is when you’re keeping secrets and hiding things from your spouse…when there’s a lack of trust in your relationship. The second sign of an...
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The easiest thing to do is to look at your spouse…I mean, they’re the reason that you’ve got problems in your marriage in the first place, right? Well, let me ask you, have things gotten better since you blamed your spouse for all your problems? Hmmm…my guess is…no. A fantastic new movie, The Song, shows us how it really does take two to tango…how more often than not, both a husband and wife contribute to marriage...
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Recently, my wife, Susan, and I had one of those conflicts where we started talking about one thing, but ended up listing everything that we sometimes find irritating about each other. All of it could have been avoided if we just remembered some important facts. First, we are equal opportunity agitators. We both do things that annoy each other, and we need to step back and look at ourselves, first. Second, it’s...
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I was having some problems with my TV. The cable technician told me I just needed to reboot the box to clear the line. Guess what? It worked! Well, if you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably been hurt by your spouse. If hurts aren’t dealt with and truly forgiven, bitterness can harden your heart to the point where you just don’t like your mate anymore. Past hurts and disappointments tend to...
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