Well, for a flame to exist, you have to have fuel. You know those old pictures you have tucked away… the love letters you’ve saved… the texts you exchange… the seemingly harmless flirtations on Facebook. These are the fuel that—given a spark—might just become a raging inferno. So, the first step to extinguish an old flame is to get rid of the fuel source. Throw out the reminders, get rid of the pictures of...
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Susan recently shared how she felt some bitterness in our marriage. She explained how I sometimes tell her to stop using unkind words toward me, and then I turn around and do the same thing a few minutes later. She gets frustrated. And that frustration, when not dealt with, leads to unresolved anger and then bitterness. I asked for forgiveness and worked to change my errant ways. Here are 4 things a spouse can...
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When married couples are exposed to the heavy, pounding winds of life—sickness, losing a job, affairs, addictions—weaknesses in their relationship are exposed. But struggles don’t always have to rip apart a marriage. Here are 7 steps to survive a marriage crisis. First, take turns being strong. In the midst of a crisis, emotions are sure to run high. Finding a way to tag-team allows one of you to be weak,...
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We all know what it’s like to have someone sitting right next to us, but whose mind is miles and miles away. In marriage, this can play out when our spouse is physically beside us, but is emotionally distant. To reconnect, here are 3 steps to take when your spouse is close, but distant. First, recognize it. Avoid being so focused on your own issues and “to-do” list that you’re unable to see when your spouse is...
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The best time for marriage counseling is before you need it. Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better, and solve problems in the relationship. So why don’t more people do it? Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private. They feel there is a stigma associated with seeking counseling. But there are times when a third party...
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From cheaters and domestic violence to red-handed corporate executives and red-faced politicians, we hear apologies galore. But does simply saying, “I’m sorry” mean they’ve taken responsibility for their mistakes? No. Sometimes it just means they are sorry they got caught. There are four steps toward a true apology. First, acknowledge what you have done wrong. Second, grieve that wrong. Third, ask for...
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Many people will offer advice for your marriage, but not all can be trusted. Signs of those who aren’t trustworthy include people that have never been committed to your marriage’s success, and people who are manipulative for their own benefit. However, signs of people who are trustworthy include those who have overcome big past failures by taking responsibility, and those who have peace in their life and in...
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