Helping Your Kids with a Family Move
Moving to a new home can be an exciting time for your family. But it can also be a great source of stress, particularly for your kids. Your family may go through a range of feelings, from exhaustion and frustration, to grief and loss, to excitement and happiness. Encourage open communication with your kids on their fears and concerns over the move. Try to plan out certain activities, such as the ones below, with your kids to help them adjust.
Have an Exploration Night
If you are moving a great distance, explore your new city together on the Internet. Pop some popcorn and gather around the family computer. Keep things positive and look for new places to go for family picnics or for ice cream. Most towns have a tourism website, where you can look for fun community events and places of interest. You might even find your kids' new schools online. If your kids are active in community sports, look up the local Little League or other programs. You may also want to try to find instructors for whatever lessons they may be taking (i.e. music, dance).
You can also contact the travel bureau or chamber of commerce and have them send you brochures and travel guides. Or if you have a membership to a travel association, such as AAA, you can pick up maps and travel books there. You may even find books at the library on your new location. Other sources of information include your new employer, real estate agency, church or other community organizations.
If your new home is nearby, consider driving your kids to their new home and let them explore the area. Show them their new school or Little League ball field, and any other places that would be important to them. Or, if your children are unable to visit their new home before the move, show them photos that you or the real estate agency took of the house.
Create Memories
Encourage your family members to create their own memories before they leave. Better Homes & Gardens (BHG) suggests compiling a video "memory book" of friends, favorite places and the home before things are packed up. If your family doesn't own a video recorder, considering renting one or simply taking photographs. If your family has plenty of time before the move, consider having each member make their own photo scrapbook to carry with them on the plane or car ride to your new home. You may even want to consider having a moving party and invite the friends of your family members to help them say goodbye.
Keep in Touch
Explain to your children that even though they won't be able to see their friends as often, they can still keep their friendships. They can write letters, send e-mails or talk online with an Instant Messenger program. Or you may want to consider allowing a certain number of long-distance phone calls (be sure to set firm rules about long-distance use). Some cellular phone plans offer free long-distance, which might also provide an opportunity for children to keep in touch with close friends.
Keep the Traditions
Help maintain a sense of familiarity and consistency with your family by keeping certain traditions, both during the move and in your new home. BHG explains, "Every family has its own traditions or habits that give its members their unique family identity. It may be eating waffles on Saturday mornings, walking around the neighborhood, or enjoying a favorite TV program together. Whatever your family does to distinguish itself should be maintained as much as is practical to ease the stresses associated with moving."
Settling into Your New Home
If your family had an Exploration Night as mentioned above, start exploring the new places you found earlier. Try out a new pizza place or ice cream parlor. Visit the local park or zoo. Then start contacting the local organizations for details on children's athletic programs and other activities they participate in. Contact the school about extra-curricular activities and clubs. Make sure your children begin making new friends, whether through the neighborhood, a religious or community group, or other activity.
New School
Be sure that you have contacted the school about any requirements (i.e. medical records) needed for your children. If possible, BHG suggests, "To reduce stress and uncertainty, visit the new school with your children while classes are in session. Meet the teacher. Pay attention to the styles of clothing, shoes, book bags, etc. With younger children, practice walking the route to school or riding the bus." Also, visit the school before school starts so children know where their classroom is and where they will meet you if you pick them up from school."
Special Circumstances
Sometimes a move involves a split of the family. Whether through divorce or death, a loss in the core family unit will compound any feelings of loss within the family. If there are additional emotional pressures such as these, you may want to consider family counseling to help your children adjust and cope.
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Copyright by Family First 2007. All rights reserved.
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