Just like the space shuttle, if you re-enter the atmosphere of your home at the wrong angle, youcould be in trouble. Realize that you and your spouse have different expectations. You're looking for relaxation…your spouse is looking for reinforcements. You can have both if you give the reinforcement first. When you walk in, ignore the mail and phone messages. Talk to your spouse first, and offer to lighten the load...

Unfortunately, many of us are in the demolition business when it comes to our spouse. We tend to be competitive, critical and even condescending. But when it comes to our spouse, we should be a builder—undergirding and strengthening them against the things in life that would tear them down. Here are three building blocks to support your spouse. First, be cooperative. Help accomplish your spouse's goals. Second, be...

The marriage rate has been on a steady decline over the past five decades. Why this disturbing trend? It's because some people think that living together rather than getting married is the way to go. The number of unmarried couples living with each other jumped from 1.6 million in 1980 to 13.6 million in 2008. Are there consequences for co-habitation? Well, findings from Pennsylvania State University indicate...

Before you need it. Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better and solve problems in the relationship. So, why don't more people do it? Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private. They feel that is a stigma associated with seeking counseling. But there are times when a third party perspective is just what the doctor ordered. ...

If you have, make up your mind that you will never use it again. The "D" word is divorce. It can come up when you're fighting, "I'm sick of you – I want a divorce!" Or when things aren't perfect, "If you do that again, I'm outta here!" Well, you need to replace a divorce mindset with a commitment mindset. You see, if divorce is even an option, you're more likely to consider it. And the threat of it keeps couples...

Yesterday, I talked about knowing when you need counseling. Today I'd like to talk about how to choose a marriage counselor. After finally deciding to get help, many couples are overwhelmed with the sheer numbers of counseling options. Most couples begin by searching the internet. Another good choice is to ask a family doctor or trusted minister for suggestions. But the best referrals for marriage counselors come...

You feel like it's flat lined. There's no pulse—not a breath of life remains. Before you pronounce it dead on arrival, there are four basic tools you can use to resurrect that dying relationship. First, patience. It took time for your relationship to need resuscitation; it will take time for it to get well again. Second, determination. Choose to be committed to each other for life, no matter what, and work...