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The Foundation of Marriage

Think of your marriage as a house, built upon a foundation of words. When we only notice the negative things about our spouse—and constantly point those things out—our comments and complaints chip away at that foundation. But when we recognize the good things about our spouse, and speak words of sincere appreciation day by day, we strengthen that foundation. Men need the admiration and respect of their wives, and...
Oct 12, 2011 / General

A Turtle or a Skunk?

Conflict brings out our natural defense mechanisms.If you tend to avoid or hide from it, then you’re probably like a turtle…the ever fearful animal tucks his head into the safety of his shell at the first sign of trouble.At the other extreme is the skunk…that nasty creature whose response is to spew out a horrendous odor that lets everyone around him know how he’s feeling.It’s better to be like the wise owl, whose...
Oct 06, 2011 / Communication

How to Communicate With Your Spouse

Many of us expect our spouse to "just know" what we're thinking or feeling. After years with each other, we begin to expect our spouse to know we've had a bad day, that we're tired, or that we want affection. They "should just know," right? Well, that's not realistic! Years of experience make it easier to predict your spouse's response, but it's no substitute for communication. If you want your spouse to know what...
Sep 23, 2011 / Communication

Business Trip Re-entry

Just like the space shuttle, if you re-enter the atmosphere of your home at the wrong angle, youcould be in trouble. Realize that you and your spouse have different expectations. You're looking for relaxation…your spouse is looking for reinforcements. You can have both if you give the reinforcement first. When you walk in, ignore the mail and phone messages. Talk to your spouse first, and offer to lighten the load...
Sep 13, 2011 / Communication

Marriage: Do You Support Your Spouse?

Unfortunately, many of us are in the demolition business when it comes to our spouse. We tend to be competitive, critical and even condescending. But when it comes to our spouse, we should be a builder—undergirding and strengthening them against the things in life that would tear them down. Here are three building blocks to support your spouse. First, be cooperative. Help accomplish your spouse's goals. Second, be...
Sep 12, 2011 / General

Agree to Disagree in Marriage?

Most of the time, married couples should be in agreement. Especially when it comes to big things like your relationship, your family, your beliefs. But when a minor issue has the potential to become a major problem, then it's better to keep the peace than to be right. For example, if my wife and I are buying a couch and she picks one that I don't really like, I can dig my heels in and fight, or we can try to...
Jan 01, 1970 / Communication

Argument Curfew

Soon after my wife and I were married, we made a discovery. It seemed like when we argued, it was at night… when we were tired and irritable from a long day. So we set a curfew on serious discussions: nine o'clock is the limit. Now, when we start to get into a heavy talk after nine, we remind each other that it's late, we're not going to resolve anything tonight, and we can talk about it tomorrow. The next...
Jan 01, 1970 / Communication

FAMILY FIRST PROGRAMS

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The Family Minute is a daily radio feature that offers everyday advice on marriage, parenting, and family relationships.

Mark Merrill

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