Head Coach of the Indianapolis Colts, Jim Caldwell, shared with me how he wrote many letters to his daughter while she was in college. But she never said anything to him about it. He wondered if she ever even read them.  Then, one day when Jim was visiting her, he saw all of the letters he had written proudly posted on her dorm room bulletin board! Notes are powerful. Write to your kids. Your children may not...

Our kids are constantly evaluated on their abilities at school, in sports, in the arts and even at home. But what about you?  What grade would your kids give you as a parent?  Well, here’s a way to make an A every time.  Remember the 6 A’s of parenting.  First is Affirmation.  When your children are sharing their feelings or opinions, they want you to listen to them, identify with them and affirm them.  Second is...

There are many times when we must stand strong as parents and say “no” to our children, especially when something is not what’s best for them.  Because I often say “no” to my kids, I am always searching for more ways to say “yes.” So, every time one of my kids asks me to do something with them, I do my best to figure out how to make it happen even though it’s inconvenient or even though I had other plans.  When it...

In a study done by the University of North Carolina, underage children were able to buy cigarettes on the Internet in 76 out of 83 attempts. These kids were monitored by the researchers in the study. How closely do you monitor your own children’s use of the Internet? Do you know what your child types into Google’s search engine? What ground rules have you discussed, what safeguards do you have in place? Help your...

I call it the 3 R's of discipline—remove, reflect and reconnect. First remove. When your child misbehaves, immediately remove him from the situation and send him to his room. When you feel like your child has a calm spirit, move onto the next "R," Reflect. When you and your child reflect, you discuss what happened. Ask your child three questions: "What did you do wrong?" "Why was it wrong?" And "What are you going...

The more the parent understands the teen, the more the teen will connect with the parent. One of the best ways to understand our children is to listen to them and to empathize with them. In those sometimes rare occasions when they open up, seize the moment. Really hear what they have to say by giving them your undivided attention and by paraphrasing back to them what they said. Identify with them in their...

Your daughter says "I hate you. You're the worst mom in the world," or she lets a few choice words fly at your husband. Blatant disrespect. What do you do? How do you get your child to respect you? Well, you can just ignore it and let your spouse and child work it out—but what kind of message does that send to your child? They need to see a unified mom and dad, parents who support each other with words and...