First, deal with those intense emotions by calmly removing your child from the situation and sending him to his room to think about it…the fewer words you use to do this, the better. Second, when you sense he is ready, ask your child to write down what he’s angry about and why he’s angry…writing it down works because it activates reflective thinking in a child.  After the note is written, discuss it with your...

Every Monday for the next 5 weeks, I’ll be talking about 5 lies that can hurt your child.  The first lie we tell our kids is, “You can be anything you want to be.”  But that’s just not true.  Now, in all fairness to us parents, our intention is not to lie…that word may be a bit too much.  We say it because we want to encourage and inspire them.  The problem is that saying, “You can be anything” is that we may be...

That’s a strange question, but one that every parent needs to be able to answer.  Sure, your kids know you love them, but they also want to know why you love them.  They need to know that you don’t love them because they get good grades, because they’re a star athlete, or because they’re super talented.  They need to know that you do love them for who they are…an incredible creation with infinite value, dignity...

Okay, imagine you’re at a basketball game. But in this arena, there are no rules and no boundaries. After the whistle blows, the players fight for the ball, fall to the floor and start wrestling. It’s pure chaos. I know that illustration is crazy, but it shows the importance of having rules and boundaries in the game and what happens when they’re not present. Just as the boundaries on the basketball court...

Last night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, my son tried to push me aside, without saying a word.  Well, rather than just correct him, my wife and I decided to employ a little role-play.  As I stood at the sink again, she played the role of my son and said, “Dad, will you please excuse me?  I’d like to wash my hands.”  I said, “Sure, come on in.” and then moved out of the way.  You see, telling our kids how to do...

I was playing the simulated military game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my teenage son… and I’m really bad at it.  The mission is to kill the bad guys or be killed.  In real life, what do you do when someone takes aim at you and starts to fire?  Fire back, right?  Well, that’s our instinct, but our call of duty is to receive the “friendly fire,” and not pull the verbal trigger… even though everything in us...

Playing favorites with your children is a dangerous game. Preferring one child over another can destroy family unity… and cause lasting emotional damage for the “unfavored” child.  Maybe one daughter is prettier than her awkward sister; one son excels at academics or sports, while his brother struggles with grades, is more withdrawn, just plain ‘difficult’. It may feel natural to lavish attention on an exceptional...