So you’re very unhappy in your marriage. You’re trying hard to make it work, but your spouse is making no effort to make things better. The question creeps into your mind, “Should I stay or should I go?” Well, before you make a life-altering decision, here are some things you need to consider. First, have you identified the real issue? Sort through the haze of conflict in your marriage and try to pinpoint the...
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Most of us want to be in control of things. We want to control people. We want to control circumstances. Basically, we want to control our entire lives. But we all know that we rarely get to decide how life goes. Author Matt Mooney wrote about a time in his life when he realized that self-sufficiency was an impossible goal. Becoming a father for the first time revealed to Matt just how out of control he really is....
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My wife, Susan and I have been so happy to see friends who have had long-lasting marriages but have been saddened as well by marriages that seemed great but came to a shocking end. In a marriage failure, there are usually one or more marriage killers that are constantly present. For example, one marriage killer is comparison. One spouse might often say things like, “Why can’t you be more like her?” Or, “Why can’t...
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You need to be accepted by your spouse, warts and all, just as you are. But not every change your spouse desires is an attack on you or your personality. So, instead of just ignoring them or bowing up to them, start by asking… “On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being really, really important to you, how important is it to you that I change this action or behavior?” Then, focus on those 8’s, 9’s and 10’s…and put the...
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After years of marriage, many couples ask themselves…“Will it ever get any better than this?” With work, kids, and everything in between—life’s challenges can easily take a toll on marriage. So before your marriage begins to suffer, make your spouse your first priority and follow these steps on how to have a marriage getaway. First, realize there is no perfect time. So why not now?! Second, determine how much...
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Recently, my wife, Susan and I had one of those conflicts where we started talking about one thing, but ended up listing everything that we sometimes find irritating about each other. All of it could have been avoided if we just remembered some important facts. First, we are equal opportunity agitators. We both do things that annoy each other, and we need to step back and look at ourselves first. Second, it’s...
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That may sound strange, but last month when my wife had yet another serious heart surgery, I struggled to trust God more than I thought I would…and even more than Susan did. My lack of trust came in part from my own helplessness…not being in control. She was in the hands of a surgeon who doesn’t know or love her like I do. But control is a bit of a myth…there are so many things I cannot control in life. Sure, I...
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