Birth Order and IQ
There are many different factors that contribute to a child's future personality; such as genetics, home life, and education. A recent study has added one more factor to the list: birth order. A study published in the Science journal this year found that firstborn Norwegian males had a higher IQ than their younger siblings. All of the tests were administered while the participants were between the ages of 18 and 19, and the results, recorded by Dr. Petter Kristensen, showed that the oldest children had an average IQ of 103, whereas second-borns averaged 101, and third-borns averaged 100.
While the gap is minimal and all of these scores are well within the "normal" range, the difference between them indicates that firstborns are generally more intelligent than their younger siblings.
Why the IQ gap?
Researchers have proposed several possibilities for why this might be true. According to Dr. Frank Sulloway of the Institute of Personality and Social Research at the University of California, Berkeley, older siblings' superior intellect could be a result of their acting as their younger siblings' unofficial tutors while growing up. In other words, older siblings learn more through the experience of teaching and mentoring their younger siblings.
Or, it could be as simple as the responsibility older siblings feel obligated to show toward their younger brothers and sisters, forcing them to take things more seriously and strive to be a better example. Often parents put pressure on the eldest child to help "take care of" the younger ones, which forces them to grow faster and behave more maturely.
Another possibility, according to CNN.com, is that firstborn kids benefit mentally from having their parents' undivided attention for the first few years of their lives, before child number two comes along. Another suggestion is that parents tend to have higher expectations and bigger dreams for their first child, which the child internalizes and attempts to live up to.
How to balance differences created by birth order
Whatever the reason, it is important that, as parents, we are aware of the natural difference in our children that result from the order in which they were born, and make sure that we don't discriminate between them and change who they are meant to be by treating them differently. Our role as parents is to guide and encourage our children to be the best version of themselves they can be – not to force them to be what we want them to be, or what society thinks they should be.
For your oldest child… It may be tempting to place lots of responsibility on your oldest child, and to have extremely high expectations for them. While these are normal parental desires, we have to be careful not to have higher expectations for our first child than we do for our later children. Kids are very perceptive, and they pick up on the differences between how they are treated and how their siblings are treated. So don't expect your eldest to help you parent your younger kids…your firstborn is a kid too, and needs to be able to behave like one. And your younger kids will be able to develop a better relationship with their older brother or sister if they feel comfortable asking them to play, instead of viewing them as a third authority figure.
For your younger children… Make sure you give them the same amount of responsibility that you gave to the oldest at the same age. It's natural to be easier on the younger children, because you're more experienced and relaxed as a parent, but this isn't necessarily best for the younger kids, or fair to your eldest. If you're not careful to give responsibilities to your younger kids, they can grow up spoiled while your eldest can start to resent unequal treatment. Be careful not to fall into the trap of treating your youngest like the "baby of the family" long after their infant years…this will only hinder them in their intellectual growth and create jealousy in your older children.
While there is nothing wrong with having an older child with an IQ three points higher than his siblings, there is something wrong with giving your oldest more opportunities to develop his intelligence than you give your younger children, or forcing your firstborn to be overly responsible, to the extent that he cannot fully enjoy his childhood. Parenting success means making sure each of your children becomes the best version of who they naturally are — which means not forcing them into inappropriately defined sibling roles, which could have a negative effect on their personality.
-Kati Raymer
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