• Home
»
• Articles
»
• Parenting
»
• General Parenting
»
• 3 Things You Need to Know about Your Dreams for Your Kids

3 Things You Need to Know about Your Dreams for Your Kids

Many of us have seen that father pacing the sidelines of a Pop Warner football game screaming at his son to "execute better." Or the mother who makes her daughter practice Beethoven on the piano three hours a day because two hours are simply not good enough. Parents like these are guilty of misdirecting their own dreams onto their kids…trying to live vicariously through them. So how do you know if your dreams for your children are really in their best interest? Here are 3 ways:

What are your children's gifts?

God has endowed all of us with certain gifts. Sometimes these gifts are very different from those our children possess. Just because you were a star athlete or straight-A student doesn't mean your kids were designed like that. Take the time to really know the areas in which your children excel, and then encourage them to flourish there. Pay for lessons. Point them to role models to allow them to pattern their efforts. Many times, the best way to love your children is to love what they love and dream what they dream.

What do your children like to do?

Many children are gifted in certain areas, but simply don't like to do the activity. That's OK. Your daughter may have an amazing three-point shot or your son may sing like a rock star, but if they're not passionate about it, be careful about pushing them into dreams they simply do not have. It takes parental discernment to know when your children are being lazy, or if they genuinely are not interested in an activity. Don't make your wants their wants. Unpack how they're thinking before you push dreams onto them.

What is the end game?

Suppose your dream for your child is to one day end up in the NFL, or for them to be elected to the U.S. Senate. Then what? Playing careers are cut short and being an elected official is brutal, and sometimes ends in disgrace. Your ultimate dream for your children should not be vocational, but relational. You want your children to love God, love their spouse and delight in their children. What they do for a living is only temporary, but who they are as a person lasts forever. Build your dreams for them upon that scaffolding.