Risk Factors for Marital Problems
Many of these risk factors relate to stable, individual characteristics of each partner. You could think of these factors this way: all other thing being equal, the more these factors are present in the lives and backgrounds of the marriage partners, the greater the risk to the well-being of that marriage over time. Here is a list of such factors. The list is not exhaustive, but it covers the biggies.
Have a personality tendency to react strongly or defensively to problems and disappointments in life
Having divorced parents
Living together prior to marriage
Being previously divorced, yourself or your partner
Having children from a previous marriage
Having different religious backgrounds
Marrying at a very young age
Knowing each other for only a short time before marriage
Experiencing financial hardship
There is something very important about this list that we'd like you to notice: once a couple is married, they can do nothing to directly lower any of these risks. In our academic publications, we call these factors static because they are relatively unchangeable. Reflecting on these factors can be useful in understanding how much risk the two of you may have, but there is little you can do to change any of these — and certainly not quickly.
In contrast to the static factors shown in the preceding list, there are risk factors that relate more directly to how you treat one another, how you communicate, and how you think about your relationship. We call these dynamic risk factors because, although they do increase the risk that a couple won't do well, they can all be changed with some thought and choice and effort.
Negative styles of talking and fighting with each other, such as arguments that rapidly become negative, put-downs, and the silent treatment
Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree
Trouble handling disagreements as a team
Unrealistic beliefs about marriage
Different attitudes about important things
A low level of commitment to one another, reflected in such behavior as failing to protect your relationship from others you are attracted to or failing to view your marriage as a long-term investment
Not practicing faith together
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