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10 Ways to Romance Your Spouse

If the idea of "Romancing Your Spouse" confuses you, then take a serious look at this list. Have you been married three months… three years… thirteen years… or thirty plus? It really doesn't matter, because TODAY is always a good day to re-think where you stand on romance. Here are 10 Ways to get you started:

1. Learn their love language, and then use it every day:
   Read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and figure out what you can do to become fluent in your husband's or wife's love language. Then use what you have learned and use it every day. While you're at it, you should find out what your love language is, too.
2. Date your mate:
   If you asked each other out again today, would you still be excited to say yes? You must have been pretty good at this at one time or else they wouldn't have married you! So why stop now? One date a month at a minimum. Use your imagination, get creative, and make it special. Here are some date night ideas to help you out.
3. Make them feel special (don't take the relationship for granted):
   "They already know they're important to me," is not a useful response. If you haven't done something to demonstrate how special they are in – say – the past four hours, then you've already waited too long. This is not a high-budget item; it's high-consideration. How about an "I love you" phone call, a simple card slipped into a purse or wallet, a mid-week lunch date, or flowers delivered to the office. Do you still do the special things you did when you first fell in love? Open her car door? Serve his favorite meal; deliver an unexpected embrace, offer a foot-rub, light some candles with dinner? You get the idea. (Here's something Family First president, Mark Merrill does to show his wife she's special)
4. Use some imagination:
   Plan events, dates, evenings at home, vacations – even stolen moments – with the kind of creative thinking that motivated you when you first began dating. There's a psychological concept known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy." Simply put it means this: believe your spouse worth the trouble and they will be; stop trying hard and so will your mate; bring some creative intention to your romance as if they still knocks your socks off – and they will (be prepared to lose your socks!). You don't have to break the bank for romance either! Here are 10 ways to save on your date night.
5. Take care of yourself:
   Check the scales, think about how you dress around your spouse, if you smoke—throw away the cigarettes, start doing some regular exercise. In other words—don't "let yourself go." When your mate sees you, do they take a second look – or do they look away? The way you present yourself tells your spouse you want to be attractive for them. Don't take their affections and attractions for granted.
6. Say "I love you", and say it often:
   The #1 relationship cop out used by men and women alike is, "I shouldn't have to say it – they should know." Saying "I love you" is the opposite of inflationary; it turns out "I love you" amplifies exponentially with usage.
7. Be kind:
   Kindness could well be the "X-Factor" in romance. Being kind is underplayed, undervalued, underrated, and certainly underutilized. Want romance? Be "Mr. or Mrs. Kindness." Learn to make thoughtfulness and consideration your second nature. Nice-guys (and gals) really do finish first—and the proof is that your spouse will fall for you all over again. You can start by sharing these marriage coupons with each other.
8. Be a gentleman or a lady:
   Please don't confuse this with a medieval ideal of gender roles. Ladies and Gentlemen are courteous, respectful, well-mannered, faithful, generous, modest and charming. Be kind and thoughtful in all your dealings with each other, thinking of ways to make the other person's life more pleasant.
9. Compliment their looks:
   Men whose wives tell them they're handsome actually feel more handsome and desirable. Men who tell their wives they're beautiful believe it with more conviction every time the words leave their lips. Love expressed = beauty; beauty = romance. It's win-win.
10. Spend uninterrupted time together:
    There are only 168 hours in each week – the number never varies. The amount of time we offer our relationships can appear like a vote as to how much we value the people we say we love. Romance, like anything else worthwhile, is worth the investment of time and attention.