10 Things You NEED to Say to Your Spouse
It's easy to say words that are cruel, hurtful and outright dumb at times. And it's a fast track to marriage conflict. Mostly we trip up because we're thoughtless, stressed, scared about something or simply in a bad mood. Regardless, the damage is done. It turns out the best solution to saying the wrong thing is to say the right thing more often.
Being a thoughtful person isn't that difficult once you get the hang of it. Saying the right thing is mostly a matter of practice. It really doesn't help that you "didn't mean it." What does help is saying the right thing. Marriage communication 101: You can re-train yourself one positive affirmation at a time. Positive communication is crucial to a marriage that works.
A great place to start is the 10 Things You NEED to Say to Your Spouse.
1. I love you:
Sure this one's a no-brainer, but we often get caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to say these three little words!
2. You are beautiful! You are so smart! I'm so proud of you!
If all you take from this list is a commitment to boost the incidence of positive affirmation in your home, then we're good to go.
3. I've been thinking about what you said, and I see that I was wrong:
Your spouse needs to know that you are flexible and that you respect their viewpoint.
4. Let's sit down over coffee sometime this week. We need to talk about how I can be a better dad and improve family relationships:
Dialogue about family dynamics is gold! She needs to know that you are onboard and in the conversation.
5. I know our lives are busy, but I want to spend more time together as a family:
Training children works best when mom and dad are together. He needs to hear that you plan on being there. Simply being a family, together, pays huge dividends.
6. There are some changes brewing at work. I'd like to include you in the decision making process:
Many men and women feel closed out of their spouse's decisions. Don't leave them out.
7. I'm having trouble making our budget work. Would you help me go over the details?
Contrast that with, "You spend too much on your hair!" or "No more hunting trips for you!" Or even, "I've crunched the numbers and I need you to cut back."
8. Honey, don't worry about a thing, I've got dinner covered every day this week:
Or anything that helps to shift your speech patterns from "Here's what I want…" to "Here's something I can give." Be a servant leader in the home.
9. Call me at work anytime:
Let your wife know you're accessible, that she is your priority, and that her presence is always welcome.
10. I've been going over our finances, and I've noticed you don't spend enough on clothes:
Tongue in cheek? Yes. But this is about culturing an environment of encouragement. Let her know you love what she looks like, and that you enjoy her sense of style. Tell her you want to buy her an outfit. Go with her to her favorite shop. That's right, you are the man!
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